|||||"Come Together" - The Beatles||]|
Not much can be said about the past few weeks, so I'll summarize that quickly- School, school, school, getting ditched by my roommates, school and laundry. Yes, our lovely 2/1 apartment has gone from four mens to two, and while I don't mind the change, the way it came about stirred something deep inside of me.
I thought it was anger at first, but really, I could only be so upset - after all, they had offered to pay for this month to help us figure something out, but still; IT WOULD BE NICE NOT TO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A PLACE TO LIVE WHEN I HAVE FINALS TO DO. Really, the timing couldn't be more perfect, and assuming things don't take a turn for the better, I'm going to find myself in desperate need of a job. Earlier this quarter I'd tried looking around for one but got too busy... two Maya classes simpley demand time, not to mention, Broadcasting graphics is a bit more taxing then I foresaw. I've put off finding work for the most part because I've been busy with school. Oi. I don't feel like I've been betrayed, but I do feel like I've been denied a courtesy most people seem to give one another. Even more powerfull then that, though, is a new-found confidence in my instincts.
I'm not going to give you a big list of instances where i've had moments of near-Jedi clarity or a cool action sequence. Usually, I notice things about people- small things- one might say I'm an observer. Everyone's got their own way of doing everything, right? Well, naturally, the more you're around a person, the more time you get to memorize them. Honestly, sometimes I think I pick up on things nobody else does, for the most part, I keep my findings a secret from the world- usually they're just thoughts I think up to entertain myself anyway. Even so, from time to time, I can't help but notice something strange about people from time to time.
There's no easy way to describe it, but I get these feelings that people hide stuff from me sometimes. I've had The Feeling when talking to anyone from my friends to my parents, and in one way or another, That Feeling sort of always hitches along for the ride. The only people that really know about The Feeling call it paranoia, and for the most part, I think they're right. I'ts easy to confuse it with paranoia because It warns me, in a way, about the darkness in people. Their secrets.. their potential to have a cold disregard. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not going on an emo tangent here. The point is that The Feeling has usually been there whenever a secret was being hidden from me, one with the potential to "hurt" me. I've had it several times in the past, each consistant with a lie that was later revealed to me.
Recently, The Feeling was right about alot of people.For a long time I'd been waiting for some kind of a sign, and I think I finally got it today. I'm very eager to see what the comming months will bring. And I promise not all my updates from now on will show how incredibley obsessed I am with the Dexter books.