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Raf

[ website | lol duhspace ]
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lol [Apr. 5th, 2008|10:33 am]
Raf
[Current Music |"Make Damn Sure" - Taking Back Sunday]

People are so predictable. It's kind of sad, actually. 
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Perched on a Stilt [Mar. 31st, 2008|10:03 am]
Raf
[Current Mood |awake]
[Current Music |I can tell- Saosin]

If the symbolism in my dreams could eat me alive, I'm sure it would have last night. Or, I won't say last night, 'cause that would insinuate that the actual dream lasted more then a few minutes. Then again, that's the funny part about dreams, isn't it? I'm relatively certain that with the time it's taken me to climb out of bed, go to the bathroom and finally come back to the computer to write this entry, a good third of the dream has been forgotten. At least, I think a third of the dream is forgotten-  I can't really tell. What I can remember was enough to have altered my perception of reality for a bit, 'cause when I woke up, I tossed and turned and found myself wondering just wtf was going on. I really couldn't tell if my dream was more real then reality for those brief, fleeting moments. Then my roommate came by to wake me up.
 
I couldn't even respond to the knocking at the door right away. It's been about an hour or two and i'm still disoriented to the point where I'm sitting on the floor, wrapped up in a blanket, trying to make sense of everything right now. Maybe I just need caffiene. I know I'm not going to stop thinking about the dream, however. In alot of ways I feel like I can interpret it as a sort of..."heads up" for what's to come, I guess.

Okay, that's off my chest, but I don't feel any better. Phase two is caffiene.
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Aenima or a youtube link? [Mar. 25th, 2008|01:08 am]
Raf
[Current Mood |killplz]
[Current Music |"Lets go to the mall!" - Robin Sparkles]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9mJAsgIIfNM


Spring break is an awesome week of no hw. My room is practically empty, I don't think we'll be moving the beds/computers 'till comcast transfers our service so. I have no excuse not to do anything productive.
 
 My god this song is making me want to  kill myself Dx
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(no subject) [Mar. 21st, 2008|04:47 pm]
Raf
[Current Mood |crappycrappy]
[Current Music |"Self Esteam" -The Offspring]

I'm currently occupying seven computers- 5 for rendering, one for after effects, and this one for updating livejournal. Cease this bitch by the balls!


This activity has been brought to you by monster.

It's a beautiful day but I'm feeling kind of somber. Maybe it's cause I know nothing out of the ordinary is going to happen. My life is terribley boring, but at least I can keep myself entertained with small, pointless distractions. I do rather feel artsy today, but I need to buy supply, I'm the worst artist evar :C


I HAVE NO PENCIL.

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Aim carefully [Mar. 18th, 2008|11:34 am]
Raf
[Current Music |"Tommorow Comes Today" - Gorillaz]

First/second final over with.

third final due in about an hour and a half... then I just gotta texture a scene.

Found a new 2/1, $945 monthly- this includes water. Electricity bills will be foreign ground to me, but fortunately, for what I can remember of my grandfather, it was him getting upset with us for leaving lights on that we weren't using. As long as I make a habbit of turning lights off and shutting my computer off when I'm not using it, I should be okay.

Feelin' kinda indifferent about everything right now. I should be relieved to have a new place, or stressed out about finals week, but really I'm just in an emotional neutral. I'm eager for thursday to come and go so I'll finally have some time to myself, which will be used to clean up and move..

Oi, things'll look up eventually, right? 
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HOLY SHIT [Mar. 12th, 2008|06:15 pm]
Raf
[Current Mood |indifferentindifferent]
[Current Music |"The Immigrant Song" -Led Zepplin]

I AM WORKING ON FINALS LIKE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH


*pats AIM* Continue to keep me sane. In a few hours I'll eat, run, bathe and sit back down to keep working.



Jon's out looking at apartments. 19 days 'till april comes and rent bumps up to 650.

The clock is ticking, but finals are due. I need to focus my energies on my projects.


Tick, tock. I hope Jon finds something. Of course, I'm not relying on the most reliable person, but as it were, I don't have a choice. Tick tock. :C

Okay, enough bla. Back to Maya. Back to work. TICK TOCK TOCK TICK TOCK DX

Note to self: make time to draw tonight.


..tick. I'm gonna free Ozzy. I just realized I'm missing my wacom pen. FAIL.
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Perfect Timing [Mar. 6th, 2008|09:31 pm]
Raf
[Current Mood |ecstaticecstatic]
[Current Music |"Come Together" - The Beatles]

 Not much can be said about the past few weeks, so I'll summarize that quickly- School, school, school, getting ditched by my roommates, school and laundry. Yes, our lovely 2/1 apartment has gone from four mens to two, and while I don't mind the change, the way it came about stirred something deep inside of me.
 
 I thought it was anger at first, but really, I could only be so upset - after all, they had offered to pay for this month to help us figure something out, but still; IT WOULD BE NICE NOT TO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A PLACE TO LIVE WHEN I HAVE FINALS TO DO. Really, the timing couldn't be more perfect, and assuming things don't take a turn for the better, I'm going to find myself in desperate need of a job. Earlier this quarter I'd tried looking around for one but got too busy... two Maya classes simpley demand time, not to mention, Broadcasting graphics is a bit more taxing then I foresaw. I've put off finding work for the most part because I've been busy with school. Oi. I don't feel like I've been betrayed, but I do feel like I've been denied a courtesy most people seem to give one another. Even more powerfull then that, though, is a new-found confidence in my instincts.
 
 I'm not going to give you a big list of instances where i've had moments of near-Jedi clarity or a cool action sequence. Usually, I notice things about people- small things- one might say I'm an observer. Everyone's got their own way of doing everything, right? Well, naturally, the more you're around a person, the more time you get to memorize them. Honestly, sometimes I think I pick up on things nobody else does, for the most part, I keep my findings a secret from the world- usually they're just thoughts I think up to entertain myself anyway. Even so, from time to time, I can't help but notice something strange about people from time to time.
 
There's no easy way to describe it, but I get these feelings that people hide stuff from me sometimes. I've had The Feeling when talking to anyone from my friends to my parents, and in one way or another, That Feeling sort of always hitches along for the ride. The only people that really know about The Feeling call it paranoia, and for the most part, I think they're right. I'ts easy to confuse it with paranoia because It warns me, in a way, about the darkness in people. Their secrets.. their potential to have a cold disregard. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not going on an emo tangent here. The point is that The Feeling has usually been there whenever a secret was being hidden from me, one with the potential to "hurt" me. I've had it several times in the past, each consistant with a lie that was later revealed to me.
 
 Recently, The Feeling was right about alot of people.For a long time I'd been waiting for some kind of a sign, and I think I finally got it today. I'm very eager to see what the comming months will bring. And I promise not all my updates from now on will show how incredibley obsessed I am with the Dexter books.
 
 

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I'm being squiiished [Jan. 23rd, 2008|10:30 am]
Raf
The sky has been pretty gray lately. It's nice, 'cause the sun's blocked out, and although the dark clouds are kind of hanging threateningly overhead, they're just kind of sitting there. Fortunately I haven't gotten rained on yet- I keep getting lucky, and the rain will start pouring right when I get to where I need to be. But damn, it's been cold, and all I have to ward that off is a huge jacket my mom gave me- seriously, if somebody buys me another XL shirt, I'm going to shove it up their ass. It wouldn't piss me off so much if they at least gave me a receipt, but seriously? I don't need any more clothing better suited to a bean bag. My roommate has plenty enough.
 
 It's only week 3 and I'm kind of regretting taking two Maya classes. The closer I get to midterms, the more it feels like the work load is going to bite me in the ass. I should be okay if I manage my time well and avoid avoiding work. I'm keeping up all right so far.. I just need to keep it up, and find ways to vent some energy so I don't go insane with frustration every time I run into a problem with Maya.
 
 Also, I really need to start applying for jobs. I'm going to go scout for things within walking distance- if I start working now I should be able to save up enough by summer for a car, which I've been needing for a while. Especially now that Jon's probably moving out when the lease expires.
 
 Last but not least, I've been having a strange trend in my dreams lately, but I'll type that out when I've had more time to reflect on it. It's time to go back to watching Dexter religiously while I do my homeworks!
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Babble session [Jan. 13th, 2008|10:38 pm]
Raf
My running pantses no longer fit me. I can't run 10 feet without having to hike my pants up, which really fucks my pace up. I have to get my ass to target to buy more, but thus far I've been too lazy to make the trip. Actually, that's not the whole truth; I also have to save up quarters for my laundry, which I have to take three blocks away because our washing machine is broken. Apparently somebody finally got annoyed with the jammed coin slot enough to pull it out- it's about damn time. Seriously. Every night I do laundry, I have to kick the crap out of the coin slot so it'll take my damn change, 'cause the slider would get stuck half way through.
 
 Maybe I'm the reason it's ultimately out of commision D: Oh well. I'm not sorry.
 
 Today I find myself contemplating the importance of lunch. In high school, it was a much needed pick-me-up, usually because I skipped breakfast. Now that I'm in college, I just don't see the point. Maybe it's because I usually have breakfast at around the time you're supposed to eat lunch- even so, I usually square off at 2 meals a day.  Really. Why bother with the third? It's that much more money you're spending on food.
 
 Oh, and one more thing. I was walking to the bank today and I heard a guy talking to his car- and his car was talking back. Now it isn't unusual to see fancy, espensive cars around here but they don't usually TALK to their drivers. And this guy's car had a booming voice that could reach me from the sidewalk! It's as if to say..
 
 "Haha, my car can talk and your's can't. Even better, my car's a bitch that memorizes phone numbers for me!"
 
 Joke's on you asshole. I don't have a car!

Anyway, I've got this crazy idea that everything I do in my life needs to be met with some kind of balance. In light of that I'm going to make an effort to smile more often, even though it's really hard to be smiling for no reason. Dx
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Ahh.. [Dec. 16th, 2007|02:33 am]
Raf
Oh man, I passed advanced 3d- which is all i really wanted. I was so anxious that night that I only had one hours of sleep- and I feel like I've been crashing ever since. The past few days have gone by in a bit of a blur, and they've been pretty good days all things considered- I haven't actually checked my grades yet, I just know I passed advanced 3d and I did well in 2d, so I don't even want to bother myself with the exact grades.
 
 This quarter has been alot about discovering things. About myself and what i'm studying, sure, but mainly discovering that I need to relax and put my faith in the universe more. I don't know how advanced 3d animation will go- but I don' t need to wait to see, either. I'm going to start looking for tutorial dvds and have them sent over to me ASAP.. I need to learn this shit on my own, even though I don't like 3d much.

/end rant about school!

Now that finals are over, I'm either bored out of my ass or busy off of it! Really, I've enjoyed spending time with my family, and I've really been enjoying the change of scenery. Now I need to harness my freetime and get some artwork done- it's so much easier to say I'll do it then actually do it though. But enough about that, I need to start looking up reference pics.

<3!!

Here's to good times in the holidays- before I know it it'll be over and I'll be back to wrestling with Maya, so Dx


/ this post ended with my father farting while arguing with my grandma. Not a good combo at all, I could seriously DIE right now DX!
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